A.I.M.

From Chris H:

      Hi, my name is Chris, I've been coming to AIM on and off for about 12 years now.  My Mom found out about AIM form our local Library.  I tried another group and then came to AIM with my sister because I couldn't go alone.  I first started going to the Dearborn group and would bring my husband. Support people have always been welcome and for a while that was the only way I would attend.  Once I started working the tools and coming every week I really started to realize that AIM really works.  But for a very long time I never really believed I would get better.  There were so many nice people to help and support me and the tools really do work.  One of my favorites is Affirmations!  I still keep a journal and do a lot affirmations especially at night because they make me feel better before I go to bed at night and they really do give you power over how you feel about yourself.  A positive attitude if really the key to overcoming your anxiety and without AIM I never would have been able to come this far.  When my choir practice changed to Wednesday nights I switched to the Livonia group and  I've been going to that group for at least 2yrs. or more and being able have that kind of support with other people who know how you feel is really the most important thing.  AIM really works and I hope it continues for a long long time.  Thank you Mary Ann for all your support and wonderful newsletters every week with really great information and ways to overcome your anxiety with the group and my faith I really do feel normal again.  And if I need a jump start I know the group is always their to help.  Keep up the good work.  Thanks and God Bless.

From Janice D.:

Being newly married and securing a new full-time job rendered me new responsibilities. I also had been involved with finishing up an internship at a TV station. In the midst of all of this activity, I had experienced panic attacks, a frightening position to be in.

Not too long after I had been trying to cope with these attacks, a friend of my husband's told us about his wife's panic attacks. I was stunned. Here I thought I was the only one on the planet experiencing overwhelming fear.

"AIM, what's that?" I asked. Our friend proceeded to tell us all about AIM and the location of meetings and times.

So I went with his wife to the AIM meetings and was so deeply impressed by the people attending. The woman leading the group explained how she was helped by her husband in conquering her fear of going out. She would drive her car, she explained, while her husband rode a bike along side her and kept encouraging her to go on.

One young woman particularly impressed me because she was so beautiful and statuesque. I figured she must have been a fashion model. I wondered how someone so elegant-looking could be so fear-ridden. I imagined that her list of suitors read like a celebrity's. She talked about how frightened she was and how she was trying to work with a dietician on a diet that would correct a low-blood sugar problem she was having. But what impressed me more was that her mother was with her, stroking her back, giving her daughter reassurance, whispering, "Your doing fine. You'll be O.K."

Since those meetings I have become very ill with M.E. and P.D. Although I can't attend meetings because of my illness, I found that receiving the weekly AIM newsletter helps me as well as being able to listen to the AIM recording. The audio cassettes and literature available from AIM help to cope with stress and worry.

My personal opinion on agoraphobia is that it is caused from a chemical imbalance which is caused from a virus. I had spoken with a doctor researching agoraphobia and he said that the cause is too much serotonin being produced in the body. I've noticed with M.E. the immune system goes into overdrive.

If I had the mindset before I ever knew of AIM, I probably would feel discouraged. I am hopeful that one day research will reveal the cause and cure of neurological illnesses.

It is reassuring to know that AIM is there for people who are dealing with fears, anxieties and problems when family and friends can't be there or choose not to be.

I can't help but think of the saying about the power of prayer when two or more are gathered. Strength really does lie in numbers, even in spirit.

Happy Birthday, AIM and thank you, Mary Ann for a job well done.

From Cindy J:

    I suffered with Panic attacks for more years than I want to remember.  Like Mary Ann, they began in church.  Actually, it all started on my wedding day.  What was supposed to be a gala event, turned into the worst day of my life.  My mom and dad had spent a lot of money on my wedding, and I split early.
I didn't know what was wrong with me.  Doctors would only say, "go home and relax".  I would have liked to tell them what they could do with that little piece of advice.  Then, my mom found and ad for AIM in her local newspaper.  She convinced me to go.  As luck would have it, I happened to go on a day that Mary Ann was speaking in Dearborn.  I found her to be inspiring, but more importantly, sincere.  I started attending the group and announced my recovery  7 months later.
    I would like to thank all the wonderful people at the Dearborn group, but especially Mary Ann.
She started this wonderful organization. amd continues to run it, 20 years later.  To me, that
means that she really has belief that people can get better.  I am living proof.  Happy Birthday,
Mary Ann, and AIM!  I hope to see you at the 50th birthday party!

From: Michael C. Anthony, Sr.
          Detroit-Wayne County Community Mental Health Agency (MIS)

Wishing you all the success possible and beyond.

   I had the worst social phobia, I had a hard time even looking at people. I had a hard time going out to eat, shopping,parties, signing my name, being around more then a few people other then my family it was very hard for me. I would have panic attacks. I even had a panic attack once when a girl scout came to my door to sell cookies. My husband and I won a trip to Jamaica with 500 other people. The entire 5 days of the trip I was in a panic. It took me 3 weeks to calm down when I got home. That was the last straw. My husband found AIM for me.  I tried doctors, pills, etc, before that nothing worked. I arrived at AIM , Oct. 1986 the Halloween party(very funny) since I had a social phobia. But I did go  the next week and the week after that. And I said to myself I think we have something here! So for the first 5 months I  mostly listened said a few words here and there. So if this is so great why am I not cured yet? "Oh" I have to get there and participate and use the tools and talk at the table, and even go on field trips. I was at home one day looked at my self in the mirror and said what is more painful living like this the rest of my life OR  being in pain for only a short time while I face my fears, maybe months or even a year or two. I said to my self I will take the short term pain for a BETTER LIFE in the long run. And no matter how hard I will do it with a PASSION. So that very day I jumped into the AIM program with both feet. I even got a part time job two days a week that put me in new places with new people! I used the tools every day, talked at the tables, listened to the speakers. Went to the retreats with MaryAnn and the group members. It was very painful facing my fears. The first three weeks of my new job I cried
every day on the way home. No one except my family and my fellow AIM members new I was paralyzed by fear. Then I even started reading the tools in of the group. I put pictures of my new goals on the mirror in my bathroom so I could see them every morning when I brushed my teeth. As the weeks , and months went by I could feel the scales tipping the days where getting better, less and less panic attacks. I was facing more and more fears one at a time. Some took more time and patience to conquer. Then after about 3 years of working very hard I announced my recovery. I felt so great. But I wasn't ready to leave . I wanted to stay and help the leaders at the time, because if I could recover any one could!
   Then some time later I became a leader of the Livonia group a couple times. But eventually I had to leave my life had changed so much. Now I have a full time job that I love , at a brand new company that I really like. I started there July 2002 and at our Christmas party in December I got an award for one of the most dedicated and appreciated employees. But now I get to do all the things I always wanted to do with out fear. All the social functions. I get to go any where with out fear and FEEL REAL FREEDOM. But what has really changed the most is inside me and that is my THINKING.I will always use the AIM tools and the program every day of the rest of my life.  I am with and around hundreds of people every day and the most favorite part of my job believe it or not is answering questions about plants and flowers for people and just talking with them never in a million years did I think I would be where I am today! First I have to thank GOD, my husband for always standing by me and Mary Ann and AIM and all the wonderful people I have met at AIM.

Just thought I'd wish you, and all, a happy 20th anniversary!

May the next 20 years be even better!

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY AIM!
Growing up with AIM was one of the best learning experiences of my life. It was commonplace for me to hang out at Mom's office or go to meetings. My teacher would let my classmates and I watch her on the local talk shows. I have always been so proud, especailly now, realizing that it has been a whole 20 years! Seeing her in action is what inspired me to be a social worker. AIM has changed so many lives for the better. I can only hope to follow in my mother's footsteps in making positive change for others.

 My wish for AIM is that there is many more birthday's in the future.  My mom has devoted almost her
whole life to this organization, she has always worked very hard at helping people at AIM.  So HAPPY
BIRTHDAY AIM, and congratulations MOM!!

Five years ago I experienced heightened anxiety and panic attacks seven months after the birth of my son.   I had lost two previous babies.  Our first was born with anencephaly.  It was very traumatic.  Finally when I had a healthy son, he experienced serious relux.  I barely slept  the first seven months of his life.  He cried all the time at night.  I rocked him and  sang to him. At first we did not know that he had reflux.  Putting him to sleep was always a chore since he had to sleep at a 70 angle in his car seat nightly.  We strolled him around the house.  He was placed on medications and  I was constantly worried about him.

I was staying  at my parents' house while our floors were being refinished when he was seven months old.  I experienced a fast pulse rate/palpitations.  I called my husband up and he took me to the emergency room.  They told me that I was a stressed out mom and put me on medication.  My family physician had me go through heart tests to ensure I was physically fine.  Everything checked out okay and  I had surprisingly lost 25 pounds in one month!!  My family physican put me on two medications but I kept calling her at home due to the continued anxiety and depression that I felt.  Finally I asked to see a psychiatrist.  He told me that I was depressed.  It was strange but I was not aware of being depressed.   Also, I went back to my psychologist who I had seen after losing our first daughter at birth.

What brought me to AIM was my mom who found in the newspaper a seminar on anxiety, panic attacks
and depression at an east side hospital. My husband went with me. The psychologist or social worker
there mentioned AIM as a support group.  Afterwards, he gave me a pamphlet.  I think I first went to a
meeting  in 1999.

Words are hard to explain what AIM/  Mary Ann Gogoleski has done for me.    The tools of belief,
self-talk,  visualization and especially affirmations helped me so much!!!!  Other members of the support group offered suggestions and support as well.  However, Mary Ann gave so much insight and
encouragement to me!!!.  I even went on a field trip on a weekend  with her and others from the group.  It was the first time that I was away from my son.  MaryAnn organized activities and  words of inspiration.  For example, she had us write positive things about each other on a poster board and t-shirt.  Her  belief in others and strength have helped me recover from my intense anxiety and depression.  I initially went to the group often and brought my baby at the time.  I met so many different people with different experiences.  Aim literally change my life.  It helped me recover.

I thought my enhanced anxiety was over.  However, since  last September I have been experiencing new stress over something else in my life.  So I came back to AIM for awhile.  It  strengthened me.  MaryAnn is so accepting of others.  One can come back anytime to regroup and get back on track with the tools and life. Now I consider her a friend in my life who I can talk to anytime or e-mail.  She always responds.   Her positive words of encouragement are so important in my life.

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY AIM!!!  Thank you Mary Ann!!!  I love You!!!!

       I had my first panic attack when I was 14.  I remember it like it was yesterday; standing in church right after communion, mass was almost ended.  I felt the tingling feeling as my body became numb; sounds became distorted and it was as if a veil was being lowered over my eyes. My stomach was nauseous and my mouth, dry. Sitting down didn't alleviate my light-headedness.  Not untill I was out of the building did I begin to feel better.  I'd never passed out before, yet that's  what I attributed those feelings to.  Maybe that's all it was; just a slight fainting spell.  However, it's what was going through my head in the following days, weeks, months and years that made it so much more.  I convinced myself that this wasn't just a one time thing; that one day I would indeed pass out (or worse) and that I had to safeguard myself against such an embarassing situation.

       As a bridesmaid in my sisters wedding months later I remember mentally counting the letters on the altar cloth to keep the panic away - over and over.  I knew there had to be something about that building, the church, that was causing me these horrible feelings.  As you can imagine, high school was not an enjoyable experience for me.  I had developed the avoidance behavior that takes one from simply having anxiety attacks to being an agoraphobic.  Not only did I avoid church, I avoided anywhere I felt 'trapped'; that an easy exit wasn't readilly available.  For example, in a movie theater I had to sit on the aisle and leave before the film ended, so as not to be 'trapped' in the crowd as they shuffled towards the exit.  In church I would sit as close to the back and the aisle as I could.  And in school I battled
constant anxiety; in order to leave the classroom I had to ask for a pass from the teacher - times that the teacher was reading aloud or lecturing caused me extreme anxiety as I feared the embarassment of having to interrupt.  So I sat and trembled.  The hardest class was psychology; the teacher liked to show flims of earlier treatments; electro-shock threrapy and lobotomies.  While my classmates laughed nervously at the horror on the screen, I cringed in fear, wondering if that were to be my fate.
       My parents found me a psychologist when I was in my senior year.  She labled me as having 'generalized anxiety'.   Six months prior to graduation I trembled with my fear of commencement; I was sure that in the middle of the ceremony I'd have to run screaming from the gymnasium.  Somehow I made it through.
       One of my main fears was being alone; I was convinced that without someone else around, my fear would eventually consume me and I'd have 'THE attack'; the one that really would leave me dead.  So when my parents would go away on the weekends, I'd start on Monday, setting up overnighters at girlfriend's homes; or making sure my brothers would be around.
       Shortly after graduation I found an ad in the newspaper for a support group for persons suffering from anxiety and agoraphobia.  My first thought was, 'that's perfect for Mom', since my mom had suffered from anxiety for years.  I couldn't get her to go with me, so I made the drive down to Northline Rd. in Southgate myself.  I hadn't been there 15 minutes when I realized that this group was for me, not just my mom.  Each week I'd go and listen to speakers share about how they were overcoming their fears.  Sometimes my mom would come along, too.  I'll never forget the night Mary Ann Miller came to speak; hers were the first words of encouragement I'd heard.  To think that someone could truly overcome their fears and live 'normally'!
       Shortly after joining Southgate AIM, I met a young woman from my area.  We decided we should drive together, and Janet and I became quick friends.  Though we enjoyed the chance to talk on our 30 minute drives to the meeting, we often spoke of how nice it'd be to have an AIM meeting in our area.  Our musings soon turned to planning as we realized we could start a group that would serve other agoraphobics in our community.  Less than a year after my first meeting in Southgate, we began the Livonia AIM group at Faith Church on Five Mile.
       I can still remember how nervous I was on our first night.  We had over 40 people come to that first meeting!  We outgrew our little Sunday School classroom and moved on to the gym.  Each week either Jan or I would give a talk on one of the 10 tools for recovery.  Soon we were inviting others to give talks, also.  My greatest growth came from facilitating the meetings.   By working on the tools, going on field trips, and revelling in the wonderful support of other members, my 'comfort zone' grew.  I started facing my fears, one step at a time.  With each accomplishment came that feeling of euphoria that only comes when you've looked fear in the face and saw it for what it is - false evidence appearing real.  The only power fear has is that which we give it.  It took me awhile to realize these truths; and a while
longer before I was ready to put them into action.  But when I did, when I trusted myself and God enough to step out of my comfort zone, my whole world changed.  The pages of my Image Book came to life.  I took a train to Toronto; rode the subway; stayed in a room on the 11th floor; and rode to the top of the CN Tower.  I braved the rapids of the New River with white water rafting.  I flew in an airplane to New Orleans, where I let myself enjoy a bus tour and a night cruise.  And even as much of an accomplishment those all were, one of the biggest was when I bought my house and for the first time lived alone... just me... without anxiety.  Ok, so I got a dog!
       Since my humble beginnings in AIM 20 years ago, my life has had it's ups and downs.  I fell in love with and married a man I met through Janet - my wonderful husband Gordon.  He's been a terrific support person all these years.  In 1996 I lost my mom.  Her suffering on this earth came to a close as God called her home.  Gordon and I have been blessed with two great kids whom I've had the pleasure of staying home and raising since their births.  In 1999, we left the hustle and bustle of metro-Detroit for Indiana.  It was hard leaving all my friends, family and my support; but it's forced me to create new support circles while meeting new friends.  I've attended three colleges in the past 20 years (still no degree!) and now I sit in the front row, learning all I can.  I'm active in our church, teaching
Sunday School and leading other ministries.  I've been commissioned as a Stephen's Minister, reaching out to those who are hurting with Christ's care.   I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know that with all I've learned from AIM and Christ's empowering love, I can do whatever I set my mind to.

AIM: An island of hope amidst a sea of anxiety.

All the best!